We all question it, even if you're a believer you've thought it. But in all honesty have you ever looked back at your life and wondered where God has been the entire time? If I were to take a good look at the highlight reel of my own, looking back at all the ups and downs, the good, bad and the ugly I'd realize that He was there all along. Although He may seem to be silent at times, I believe He never leaves His children. He is constantly present, waiting on us to reach out to Him. When we feel He's left us to our own accord or He has seemingly fallen quite and out of reach we get upset, defensive even and this gives the enemy foothold. But He loves us too much to leave us that way, He's given us Himself. The Bible says He will never leave us nor forsake us. I believe that.
I can't remember any part of my childhood until about age 7. But looking back. He was there. He was there when I sat on the front porch waiting for my biological dad to pick me up for our weekend visits and when he didn't show, He was there giving my mom the right words to say to calm the pain. He was there when I was molested by the same man who'd leave me waiting for hours on that front porch wondering if he loved me. He was there, weeping that His daughter was hurt. He was there when we moved every year during our youth and had to make new friends at new schools. He was there when soccer games were won and tournaments played and He celebrated. He was there when we lost our first dog, He allowed the pain but provided comfort. He was there during the excitement of graduation and the nervousness of the first day of college. He was there with all the firsts, the new car, the first date, the first kiss, the first real job, the purchase of my first new home. He was there through good decisions cheering me on and through bad decisions, giving me ways out. He was there in happiness and sadness. He was there through the losses, the loss of a job, the loss of someone I loved, the loss of friends, the loss of money, stability and confidence. He was there, He was there, He was always there..
Embedding Himself within His children, He wants nothing more than to have a relationship with us that allows Him to be Who He is meant to be, the ruler of our hearts. I wholeheartedly believe He wants to make all our hopes and dreams come true, He has a plan. It's in His timing I have to trust. Although I can look back at my life and see where He's been, I can't see what's ahead. I'm not supposed to, that's faith. My heart aches for these two things more than anything. I have to believe that as part of His divine plan, He has a man for me that will love me just as I am, faults and all. I pray that I will one day there will be children, that there will be littles that He will bless to my husband and I and entrust us to raise God fearing disciples.
Lord I see you, I feel your presence. I know now that when I look back at my life that you've always been, will always be and will never leave. You are here. And for that, I'm incredibly thankful.
Love,
Your daughter
