Thursday, August 2, 2018

The voice

I keep hearing this voice in my head, over and over again it says "why you?" "what good are you?" "why do you think He'd use you?...silly girl, don't you know you know you'll never amount to anything?" and "What impact or impression can you leave?". You're not good enough. It creates this moment of doubt, am I really someone who matters and can I really make a difference?

I fought this battle in my head while I was in Kenya last week. Each morning on the bus to the village I fought the enemy and sometimes the question of "why" would linger but...God. It's not about me, it's about Him and what He instills in us. It's about the realization that the only opinion that matters is His and the questions of self doubt that are said by the enemy are just dead words but it doesn't make the battle any less of a struggle.



This is something that I've dealt with my entire life, feeling adequate enough. Feeling that I have something to offer and something that will make a difference in someone's life. But God has given me the confidence and courage to step out of my comforts and challenge me in areas in which I would've never ventured before in the last couple of years. When I start to feel weak or unworthy I remember the One who died for me, the One who choose me and the One who loves me despite all my flaws. 

Lord I pray each time I hear the voice with words of doubt that I remember the seeds you've planted for me. I also pray Lord that I continue to have the confidence to make a difference, allow me to bring words of comfort to those who need it, bring love to those who lack it and strength to lift those up who have fallen. I pray that others see You in me, that they see my God-confidence and that You're glorified in it all.

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